Sand-Dollar Magic

I believe in karma as a whole and real entity. So much so it rules my every decision: how will this affect me, what am I putting out into the universe that will either boomerang back blessings or negativity? So much so that Anthony has started to talk 'karmic juju' as he calls it--and I find him weighing decisions with the same measure of reasoning.

He has a knack for finding things. One year on the beach, Robert lost our only car key in the sand. We refer to this story (only recently with humor, even though it occurred probably five years ago) as 'hide-the-key-find-the-key. Anthony was the one to find the key, probably saving Roberts life (Amanda was about to kill him!). I have a sand dollar about my kitchen sink, once perfect but now cracked from Oliver's sink play, that I always push together to look deceptively whole. He found this perfect sand-dollar on the beach of Tybee, our home away from home. He has a gift for finding things, a gift that I find adds whimsy and magic and a little bit of romance into our life.
Amanda had made a comment once or twice about wanting a sand-dollar so my mission this vacation was to find her one. Anthony spent all of yesterday in the ocean, scooping sand between his fingers, searching for the one perfect sand-dollar.
He found one, then another, then another: but all of them alive. In the course of the afternoon, he probably found 10 perfectly round, unblemished sand-dollars, all brown and slowly inching up the palm of his hand. I could see the wheels turning in his head as he weighed the karmic pros against the cons.
Finally he says to me: "What kind of karmic juju will I be putting into the universe if I kill something just because I like the way it's corpse looks?"
Touche. And he put them back, one after another.
"The universe will reward us," I assured him. "Before the week is done."
This morning I woke up to an empty house. Everyone except for me and the kids are spending the day on a boat deep-sea fishing. I had a text from Anthony, telling me to go outside and look at the railing to the left. He is always one to leave me a surprise, especially because I was feeling a little blue about being left behind.
I padded out onto the porch and started laughing. Covering the white railing right outside my bedroom window were probably 35 perfectly bleached-white sand-dollars. My brother was the one to notice them, evidently they have been there the entire time but because they blended perfectly with the color of the porch, were unnoticed until last night.
Or.
I believe in magic, I believe in karma and I believe in the power of the universe. While I can acknowledge that the sand-dollars were probably there the entire time we've been here-- I also believe that somehow they were left for Anthony and me, a reward for his kindness, a reward for our respect for life. I feel moved, even in this moment, by the magic of that sight, moved by the magic that Anthony always seems to bring into my life.



Now if we can get even one home in one piece, that will be it's own kind of miracle :-)

A Thousand Miles Away From Dirty Bathrooms

When I leave for vacation, I usually like to clean my entire house. In fact, I'm so manic and OCD, I often can't pack until every room is clean and every stitch of laundry is washed and put away. This is both deceptive and quite a feat (you are probably thinking that I live like this all the time--but really, it takes vacation to get me to clean; and the house is so dirty from only vacationing once a year that it is quite an undertaking).
This year, the manic didn't set in, but the panic did. All I can think of when I think of home is this yellow spot beneath my bathtub. But with this heat (108 last Sunday), the 4th of July Holiday, flying solo at work and being 6.5 months pregnant, I haven't much felt like cleaning. I gave up the idea of coming home to a perfectly clean house, gave in to the limitations of being pregnant (i.e. I suck at life for 9 months) and left Friday night with the fear that I might not be able to let it all go.

Good news: its gone. We traveled about 2 hours from our destination Friday night and took our sweet time getting to vacation home in Fort Morgan, right past Gulf Shores. I'm not going to lie--not going to Tybee was a throbbing heartache--but I have to say, this Fort Morgan house is just what I need. It's so quiet here. The beach on a Saturday afternoon was practically deserted. The waves are small, but perfect for the little ones riding them. The water is so clear you can see the bottom and their is a nice ankle-deep sandbar a few feet out that makes you feel secure in the fact that you or the kids are not about to be swept out to see. It's serene, rejuvenating and not a fraction as hot as Georgia! Aside from the cringing southern accent Anthony has affected since we are in Ala-damn-bama, it has been delightful so far. And we're only just beginning.
Tony, Julie and Brookyln arrived late last night. The immediate friendship between Brooklyn and Oliver just about melted me to gooey-hormone-induced bits. She is the tiniest thing (although almost as tall as Brookyln--we grow 'em big in our family)--so petite and lovely. She has the most delightful little sing-song cadence and pronouces Oliver as "I-Love-Her". This morning she kept saying, "I-Love-Her is a-sleeping" as in, she calls herself, "Brook-a-lyn".
Becoming an Aunt is about the greatest thing, second only to becoming a mother. These little children, little genetic extensions of yourself, are one of the greatest joys of my life. More than getting away from dirty bathrooms--I was so excited to spend time with little Miss Brook-a-lyn, to get to know her and to earn her love as I have with the others. She adores Oliver, follows him around and copies everything he does, down to his whining about being copied. We haven't taken the two to the beach yet--it's been a lazy morning--but can't wait to see what this day brings!
I'm trying to turn the time-counter off in my head. Some years I get so hyper focused on "this time next week I'll be home" that I can't live in the moment. Adderoll has helped me tremendously with that. And I have to remind myself that I am usually very happy to head home, back to the routine of my life, refreshed and renewed. But then again--I'm usually returning home to a clean bathroom :-)